Welcome Amara!

WOW!!! What a week!!! I want to try and write down everything I remember from the week, so for some it may be a bit graphic... but they are details I don't want to forget!

Let me start at the beginning...
Monday and Tuesday I was having some contractions, but Tuesday I was quite uncomfortable. I had been having them on and off for about a week, but when I saw midwives last they said that was a good thing, and not to worry. But Tuesday Steve was worried, I guess every time I talked to him on the phone he could read something in my voice, so he called the midwives and told them that he was concerned that Amara was ready to come, and that it would happen quickly.

My midwife, Selina called that evening and asked me if I wanted her to stop by on her way home from Nanaimo. I felt bad because it was 7:30 pm and I said not to worry, but then Steve made me say yes! And we are glad she came by! She checked me at around 8 pm and I was already 4 cm dilated. With lots of contractions. She said she was going to call the OB's and ask what they wanted to do, and for us to stand by and have bags packed. I quickly hopped into the shower and Steve came to tell me that we needed to be at the hospital ASAP. We called Alycia, a lady in our life group who has been so helpful during my long bed rest and she came right over without us even asking before if she would come.

We got to the hospital and were waiting to check into emergency, but the line was very long. Selina called Steve a couple of times before he answered and she asked where we were because the team was waiting for us. So we rushed upstairs and the rest was a serious whirlwind.

Everyone was waiting for us- I got put into the lovely hospital gown, and then people were poking me with needles, IVs, checked to see how far along I was (1 hr later I was 5 cm dilated), and they put on these crazy leg squeezers that went up both of my legs and squeezed in and out so I wouldn't get blood clots. I was then brought into the operating room. I got in there onto the little bed and was shaking like crazy. It was all happening so fast, I had no time to prepare myself, and I was so cold! The Anestegioligist, was awesome. His name was Dr. Robertson and he talked me throughout the whole process as he put in the spinal. I was layed on the bed, curtain drawn and what felt like hundreds of people entered the room. Dr. Robertson stayed at me head and talked me through everything they were doing, held up a mirror for me to look if I wanted to and also had our camera and was snapping pictures.

Through this whole process I was shaking so hard. What a scary experience. I remember them asking me to wiggle my toes, and not being able too... I was just thinking how terrifying it would be to be paralyzed and mentally wanting to move something and not be able to (just one of many thoughts at the moment.) I kept asking if I was for sure frozen and Dr. Robertson said that is every single persons worst fear, but then he asked if I could feel that and apparently they were running metal tongs across my belly, and I could just feel the pressure.

Steve was very quiet through the whole process and kept peeking up and over to see what was happening. Selina was encouraging me, and Dr. Zharadka, my OB was telling me what she was doing. The team was all really awesome. I looked up into the mirror in time to see them pull Amara out, bum first- what a surreal feeling, I could feel the tugging on my belly, but watching it felt like watching a movie. She was blue when she came out, and the cord was around her neck. I saw Zharadka flip it off and over. And then they put her on the table, it felt like forever before I heard her little cry, I was just praying away. She made one little squawk and I was bawling my eyes out!
I looked over to the warming table and her tiny little legs were bent straight up towards her head, as that was how she was in my womb, in the pike position. There was a Pediatrician checking her out to make sure her hips and legs were okay, and she said they looked fine, but they want us to take her to Victoria in a few weeks to have an ultrasound on her hips, as breech babies sometimes can have problems with their hips. Then they wrapped her up and brought her to me. It was love at first sight! I just remember thinking how tiny and petite she was. With the tiniest most kissable little lips! And an amazing amount of dark hair. She is perfect! She was born at 10:37 pm she weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.

They stitched me up while I was having my first cuddles with I believe 4 or 5 layers of stitches and then the final layer was staples. And then they rolled me into the recovery room. Amara started breastfeeding right away. We were then rolled into our room for the next few days, and were thankfully given our own room with our own bathroom. Steve spent the night on the pullout chair bed, and we both didn't sleep. For Steve it was because my leg compressors were so loud and I had to keep buzzing the nurses.

The nurses took Amara to the nursery for the night, but I was in extreme pain all night as the freezing wore off and I have had a terrible cough for over a month and it was in full vengeance! Every time I coughed it felt like my stitches were going to rip out, so I was trying not to cough all night, which made it worse, and then my uterine contractions were so intense that I literally felt like I was dying! All that to say, I did not sleep a wink that night!

The next day (Wednesday) I was laid up in bed all day with the leg squeezers on and Alycia brought the girls in to meet their sister. They came with presents for Amara, a beautiful blankie and a cute little teddy stuffie. They were both excited to see us, but Amara they weren't quite sure of. I asked them both if they wanted to kiss her, but they both were like... ummm whats that white stuff on her skin, and were both just a little unsure.
Kim, my wonderful photographer came and took some pictures of the girls first meeting their sister and some of me and Amara. I did not want my photo taken, as I had just bawled my eyes out from being exhausted and overwhelmed. But I am glad she came and we got some nice photos!We had a nice visit and then Steve left with them to go home and take a nap.

Wednesday night I had an older nurse who wanted to take off my leg compressors and catheter and get me up and out of bed. It was NOT a pleasant experience, she was very rough and basically ripped me up out of bed and I was standing there shaking and crying my eyes out. But I survived!

The next morning Steve took Adessa to go and pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the airport as they arrived bright and early! I was so excited to see them and introduce them to my sweet little girl. Sharon came and brought me some McDonalds as the hospital food is not so appetizing, I also had a soother on the table and my midwife came in... a little awkward! They only promote healthy eating and do not recommend soothers until they have breastfeeding down pat! But the visit was quick and I had a nice visit with Sharon!

It was so great to see mom and dad as I haven't seen them since Joel and Nikayla's wedding at the beginning of November and this pregnancy has been such a long haul with all the complications, it was just so nice to see my mommy! It is times like these that I really really miss living closer to family!

Friday morning I was expecting to check out, but then Amara had jaundice and her one leg looked much larger than the other one. So they took lots of blood out of my poor little baby and tested for infections and then she was put under the lights for the day. At this point I was SO ready to just go home! But that night I had crazy bleeding, which was very very scary and the nurses seemed really concerned as well and were booking me in the next day (Saturday) for an ultrasound. I prayed a lot that night, as I had the concern of possible placenta still in the uterus and more surgery, Amara being Jaundice... in the room with me for the night (and she kept knocking off her glasses), her swollen leg which they thought could have been a 1 in a million reaction to the Vitamin K they injected into her leg, and my milk had come in and I was severely engorged and couldn't sleep from the pain! I was given such a peace however and just knew it would be alright. But then in the morning I called Steve to tell him what was going on and I just started to bawl. It had just been one thing after another this whole pregnancy... and now this!!!

Steve came with my very very worried mother (apparently he prep talked her the whole way in that she needed to be supportive and smiley instead of crying!) and we waited to hear any sort of news.
Pediatrician came in and told us first that her blood work came back that morning and we could take her out of the lights (Amen), then they said she had no infection and it was probably because her little legs were hyper extended in the womb for so long and it was just swollen (Amen), and then they said that they couldn't figure out how to do the ultrasound because of my csection scar. At which point my surgeon, Dr. Zhardka came in sucking on a freezie (she got one for Adessa too!) and said that she is 100% positive that nothing was left in my uterus and she doubled and tripled checked because she had a student in with her and was showing him everything. I got my staples taken out... she was amazed at how well I was recovering as I was already sitting up by myself and stroked my after-pregnant ego by saying I had no fat on my bones and it was a dream to do a c-section on me... thank you Zharadka! :)

I was mentally preparing myself to spend more time in the hospital but in a matter of moments we were cleared to go home. AMEN. I was so ready to be home!!!

I got home last Saturday, February 16th, and I have been home almost a week. The only problem there is, is my painful engorgement and trying to work that out. But Amara is an absolute delight. She sleeps all the time, we have barely heard a peep out of her and she is nursing wonderfully. She went down to 6 lbs. 6 oz. in the hospital and she is already at 6 lbs. 12 oz. I have to wake her up at night to feed. She loves having her baths and that about the only time we can get her awake!
It has been so special having mom and dad here. Mom has been working like a dog and has got the nick name 'granny' as she is the grandma and the nanny! She has been cooking and cleaning up a storm and keeping the girls entertained. She also took me to get a haircut yesterday, but we then got scolded by the midwives as I am not supposed to leave the house yet! But it was worth it ;)

The girls have really taken to their sister- Adessa more so. She is such a big helper, running to grab diapers and clothes and constantly wanting to hold her. At one point Danika was holding Amara on the couch and Adessa ran and grabbed all the diaper stuff. It was perfect!

Last night there were parent-teacher interviews at school and so Steve and I went to talk to Mrs. Mitchell. She mentioned that Danika has been complaining a lot about aches and pains and talking about how concerned she was for Amara. Which took me by surprise because at home she has not shown much interest. So when we go home I sat down with her and we talked for awhile about her new baby sister and she started to cry saying she was scared for Amara because one leg was a bit bigger.. and she had heard us talking about things about Amara, but we hadn't really talked to her about any of it. It was really good to have that conversation and I am really going to make an effort to give the big sister a lot of attention!

Mom and dad took the girls out for a special day today as school has a Pro- D day so its a nice chance for me to get down all the details of Amara's birth and to just have a day to rest!

Welcome my sweet little Amara... it has been quite the journey to meet you, we couldn't imagine our lives without you sweet little angel!!! 

My three Beauties!!! 

 My friend Kim took a bunch of photos of maternity and when Amara was born... you can check them out here!

Aversion

Today was hard... really hard. I didn't do so well. 

The night before last, I didn't sleep because my body was in so much pain, cramping and back pain and I was scared, I kept praying that I could just fall asleep and that this wasn't labor and eventually I fell asleep, but spent the following day exhausted. I had all my lovely appointments again, the ultrasound, NST and midwife appointment and was wiped. My midwife recommended I take a long bath, have some gravol and try to have a good sleep before my 7 am appointment at the hospital this morning. I tried those things, the only problem was, was that I had children's gravol and only had enough left for a 6-12 year old dosing. So I took it... but it didn't do too much! I slept fitfully last night and was wide awake at 4 am this morning, but tried to rest until we left at 6:30 am. A wonderful friend came and stayed with the girls this morning to get Danika ready for school and hang out until we got back. 

We spent 2 hours at the hospital. They monitored Amara for a while before to make sure she was fine and then 2 OB's came- Dr. Bodea and Dr. Listin and my midwife, Selina. They used the ultrasound to monitor Amara as they tried to flip her. They tried 3 different times, probably 45 min- 1 hour of trying to flip her. My midwife was awesome and had me doing breathing exercises as the natural body response is to tense up, but she had me breathe through it all for a long time. They were all amazed at how long I let them try for, but much to my discomfort. I tried to get in a zone and tried my hardest to breathe through it all, but it was too much. They were able to get her little bum out of my pelvis with 3 sets of hands (one you don't want to know where it was!) and turn her diagonally, but they couldn't get her past that point. Steve said it looked awful, as their hands were lost trying to push her so hard. The most painful was at the bottom of my stomach because of all the tendons and muscles. But I did what the doctors and midwifes asked of me and gave it my all. So at least I tried to have her flipped. But Amara did not want to go anywhere. And the doctors said that if she going to flip, it would have happened. 

Right after everyone left and I was hooked back up to monitor how Amara was doing I looked out the window feeling so drained and exhausted and there was a beautiful rainbow literally right outside my window. I wish I would have had my camera. But I just felt God's peace and presence. It was such an awesome reminder for me at that moment and made me smile when I just felt like crying! ( I did do my fair share of crying)

Good times! 

Steve took me for breakfast at white spot after the appointment and I drowned my feelings in eating... it was delicious! We then stopped at some good friends of ours and there is nothing better than crying on a friends shoulder.. except maybe my moms shoulder! 

The rest of the day I have been physically in pain and exhausted. The doctors said my stomach would probably bruise and it is so tender, I can feel the bruised spots. I took a long bath and tried to nap, but my mind doesn't ever shut off for naps. So I am praying for a good sleep tonight!

On another note, Adessa had an awesome day. Alycia got Danika ready for school and then she took Adessa on a special date to Chemainus, where they played at the beach, went to the park, had a snack at the bakery and then ended by letting Adessa pick out a special treat for her and Danika at the candy store. Lucky little girl! 

Alycia took this photo of Adessa in Chemainus... I LOVE it!!! She looks like a little model! 

I am thankful today is over, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted and I am just so ready to meet this little girl. The next step is to monitor by ultrasound every few days and then next Friday I will have an appointment with the specialist to book an C-section. 

Here are a few more iphone pics I have taken recently!

The midwives recommended I try acupuncture to switch baby around... this is called "moxa-bustion" - basically you burn 2 moxa sticks on the outside of your pinkie toe for 20 minutes... 10 days in a row. Steve was "thrilled."

This is a NST- a Non Stress Test. They hook me up to a monitor to track baby's heart rate and movements for at least 20 minutes. I have been having these on a weekly basis. 

We thought that Amara might have come today, so yesterday my good friend Kim Kitchen of Twiggy Photography came over briefly to snap a few photos of me and the girls... here were a few she texted to me! She normally only takes photos outdoors and it was a gray, dark day yesterday so she said the lighting wasn't great... but I like them!  I am just happy to have a few with the belly! 

Countdown Is Officially On!!!

No baby yet! We went in for our ultrasound on Saturday after packing up to stay in the hospital and packing the girls for a sleepover. We had the ultrasound and then went up to the maternity ward for the NST and a meeting with our OB. Fluid levels had increased from Wednesday so there is no rush to take her out. However at this point Steve and I had wrapped our minds around having her out, as it has been so back and forth! But Dr. Bodea said everything was fine so next step is to have another ultrasound on Wednesday, and he booked an aversion (flipping baby from the outside) for Thursday morning at 7 am with two specialists and a midwife.
Basically this is the plan... Thursday morning they will try to flip baby and depending on fluid levels they will either leave her or take her out. If fluid levels have dropped again, he will still try to flip her and if it works they would induce labor.  If fluid is low and they can't flip her they will perform a c-section. If fluid level is fine they will try to flip her and then leave her alone until the following week when I am 38 weeks, at which point he would like to deliver no matter what, whether by inducing labor (if she was able to flip) or by c-section. So for sure I will be meeting my sweet little Amara in 2 weeks! And I am so ready!

My sister sent me this link about a lady who birthed a breech baby and it was a very neat, encouraging story. But after talking with the specialist this weekend and talking with friends and doing a bit of research myself, we feel like we would opt for a c-section over delivering breech. My midwife really wants me to try delivering breech, but the thought scares me and the complications increase especially with my low fluid, and the chance of having the umbilical cord pinched off and Amara not getting oxygen. At first when I read that blog and after talking with midwives, I felt like maybe I would feel like a bit of a failure if I couldn't deliver her myself, as that what our bodies are made for and that is my job! But Steve pointed out that God has also given our doctors advancements that they can deliver by c-section and that our only goal right now is to have a healthy baby. AGREED. And the decision was also solidified when the specialist said he wouldn't be comfortable delivering her breech and would want to do a c-section.
And who knows, they may be able to flip her, or Amara may turn on her own and I will have a normal delivery again, but on the chance that that doesn't happen I have made peace with the idea of a c-section.

There is a little update and for now... countdown is on!!!

Whats New?

Well January has come and gone, and I can't believe it! I thought it would drag on, but it has gone by so fast! The past week and a half I have been sick with a cold and can't seem to kick my cough! It has kept me up a lot and then last night Adessa woke up with the flu and has been laid out all day with a fever. So this is one tired mama! In between all this I have had appointments upon appointments. Weekly midwives, OB, ultrasounds and non-stress tests.
 Today I met with my midwife and since baby is still breech she gave me a long list of things to try, to try and flip her. Things such as acupuncture, chiropractor, standing on my head (she recommended at the pool) and taking these little white homeopathic pills. They are planning to do an aversion next week (flipping baby from the outside) and she said it is extremely uncomfortable and I should try everything I can to try and avoid that. She also does not want me to have a c-section and said I am a "perfect" candidate for delivering breech (OUCH!)
But this all changed when I went in for my ultrasound today. My non-stress test went well, lots of movement and good heartbeat. But when I got home there was a call from my midwife and she said the fluid had decreased.. ugh : ( ... not what we wanted to hear. She had a meeting with all the OB's and they are rescheduling another ultrasound for Saturday to re-check the fluids again and then I will meet with one of them and discuss our options.
It feels like a roller coaster.  When I first heard this news, my first instinct was just to cry, it has been so back and forth. But then I decided not to worry too much and continue to just pray, because I am just too tired to think about it!
Basically though she mentioned that if the fluid is low, they will be planning a c-section this weekend. I can't really wrap my mind around this... so I won't yet. I will be 36 weeks tomorrow so thankfully  I can deliver in Duncan. OR it could be like last time, all the worry of a small baby and she is totally normal and healthy. So my fluids could still be good! But we will wait and see and continue to pray.
I just hope I can kick this cough and pray that I don't catch Adessa's flu. So that I can be healthy when this baby comes, either this weekend or in a few weeks!

Other things I want to note- I have gained 25 pounds so far, and baby Amara is doing lots of moving. The newest thing is a pulse-like movement I can see from the outside. I was kind of worried about it but looked it up online and said that that movement can be the baby practicing their breathing... so cool.
We have been trying to prepare as much as possible for this babe. First thing first was finding a place for her to fit! At the beginning of the year we moved Adessa and Danika into bunk beds into one room. The other room we re-did into a guest room. Well... we couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of our queen mattress as it was bought for our wedding and is a really good one and we have SO many guests. So I had been keeping my eyes open for a wall bed. They all ran around $1200-1500 for a used one, but then after many weeks of quickly checking I found one for $375! So we picked it up and Steve installed it on the wall. Eventually I would like to paint it, but for now, it will do. We haven't put up baby crib or change table yet because our families are planning to come visit as soon as baby is born. And we have a bassinet for her to sleep in for the first few months in our room. I usually like to be so organized and have everything ready to go, but its just not happening this time around!

Other news as well... my hubby hasn't worked in about a month as he has been in the role of Mr. Mom... and has seriously rocked at it. Thankfully his business did really well last year so we haven't been hurting financially, but he has started to get restless. After cleaning out my garage and crawl space and bringing loads of stuff to consignment  thrift and the dump he is ready to work! And God is just SO GOOD! Seriously I am so blown away by his provisions in our life. Yesterday he followed a lead and met up with a family that moved here from Edmonton and they want him to start work ASAP. The work includes re-modeling their home, building a shop with a guest room on top and building a giant barn! This will keep him busy until he starts his other HUGE project on Thetis Island in June.
Steve has also had the stress of having three men working for him, who haven't been able to find work. So Steve is able to hire all of them for these next jobs. And there are a few more pending jobs as well.
I am SO proud of my husband and am so thankful for his hard work, and integrity, and can tell that God is really blessing him for being faithful.

Big news on Danika's front- my little girl walked to school on Friday all by herself! I know it doesn't seem like much as we back onto the school, but it felt like such a big step. Last year she had serious anxiety issues about me even being in the bathroom without her knowing where I was, and we prayed and prayed over that. And now she is walking to school by herself and walking home with friends. It really feels like a big step of independence and I am so proud of her! She has also really picked up on her reading. She is flying through her reading books from school... when she is focused and paying attention. Next thing to work on is her writing, and staying in the lines.

Adessa is getting increasingly excited to become a 'big sister.' My favorite moment is when she puts her face to my belly and whispers to Amara and tells her its 'her big sister talking.' Speaking of Adessa I wanted to make note of a cute thing she does and has started to correct. She loves penguins, and has been calling them "pain-goons" but after her big sister correcting her every time, she has started to catch it herself and fix how she says it. She blows my mind every day with how quickly she catches onto things and big she is getting!

I haven't pulled out my camera once this past month, but my new iPhone has come in handy to take a few photos. Enjoy...

My beautiful Adessa, growing up so quickly!

This was taken at 34 weeks., when I was allowed to leave the house for an appointment!

I miss being able to go for walks... so after an appointment I went and parked at the boardwalk... I love living by the ocean. So beautiful and peaceful!

I love days when my girls are best friends. The morning they set up the living room like a beach and had a beach party and then spent a good hour doing "I Spy" books together. It makes for one happy momma! 

The princess and her pet monkey

The girls and I had a spa afternoon, with face masks and nail painting.  Danika and I put on face masks (hence the shiny faces!) Adessa refused, because she didn't want her face to peel off! 

36 weeks.... the final countdown is on!