My posts are going to be a collection of random photos and thoughts as I just can't keep up with my blog! But I am trying my best to remember details so here goes...

Amara is still the happiest little girl in the world! She is literally my little doll and I am having so much fun with her! She LOVES her bath time... sorry for the nudity in the shot, but she just finished her bath and was so excited! She loves her swing and she is so good traveling in the car.

Birthday's once in school become quite the ordeal! You HAVE to bring cupcakes because they celebrate the child in their class, which is very special, but more work. Especially when I decide last minute to make my cake batter and icing from scratch. We had a little cake decorating class at MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) so I went and bought a little kit at walmart for beginners and went to work. My oh my... it was a whole day ordeal and by the end I wasn't a happy momma. So I learned my lesson, I will buy boxed cake mix, but would probably still do the icing by hand because it holds its form so well and everything stayed good for a week! Anyways Danika was very happy with her cupcakes and the kids in class LOVED them!
The next day when it was her actual birthday and party, I made the cake from scratch and icing, but let Danika go ahead and decorate herself, she fully enjoyed herself. 

For Danikas party we rented the Duncan Gymnastics place. This was Danika's first time doing gymnastics and she loved every moment! I was laughing so hard watching both Danika and Adessa as they tumbled along and disappeared into the foam pit. And Adessa kept up with the 6 and 7 year olds... the girl doesn't miss a beat!
I have loved this year with Danika and 7 years old seems so old to me! There has been a lot of tough times, but also a lot of good. It has been so amazing to watch Danika catch onto reading, and these past couple of months watching her breeze through her little home reading books. She loves her baby sister with all her heart and loves to cuddle her on the couch and make Amara smile.

Amara is now 4 months old and I just took her in for her vaccinations. So heart wrenching to hear this little girl cry, since she rarely ever does! I am loving every moment with this little beauty, I wish there were more moments of just being able to sit and stare and kiss.

Here is a little comparison chart of our girls weights and heights... just for fun!

                                 Birth                        2 months                       4 months 

Amara      weight     6 lbs 14 oz                10 lbs  4 oz                     13 lbs

                 height      19.29 inches              21.02 inches                    23.15 inches

Adessa      weight   7 lbs 13 oz                 11 lbs 11 oz                     13 lbs 14 oz

                  height    21 inches                                                            23.75 inches

Danika       weight    4 lbs 9 oz                  9 lbs 2 oz                           12 lbs 2 oz

                  height    17 inches                   21 inches                             24 inches 

Adessa is keeping me as busy as ever. Her latest thing she loves are her "Lonely baths," She always asks for them. I think it is because her big sister is starting to enjoy showering by herself for some quiet time, so Adessa apparently prefers her lonely baths. 

For Steve's 30th birthday we had a bunch of people out to our friends farm. It was a beautiful evening. Everyone brought Steve beer... I guess what else do you get a guy?!? So we are stocked up for the summer! Also a good buddy got Steve some Duck Dynasty attire, a favorite show around here! It was a really nice evening filled with lots of laughs, some firecrackers and good friends. We feel so blessed by the wonderful friendships we have!
For my birthday my hubby surprised me by arranging childcare for my girls then having me go to a day spa in Duncan for a facial and massage. It was so wonderful to be shut into a dark room for 2 hours... I didn't want to leave! I felt very loved on my day and was spoiled by many awesome presents and in the evening was taken out on an adventure by a good friend! I got a new beautiful watch and my first pair of birkenstock sandals, which I LOVE. I also got some money for a shopping spree I will have to go on soon... I can't wait!
I have also started playing soccer on Monday nights with some ladies in Duncan. It feels so good to be out on the field again. And I love exercising when you don't feel like you are, because it is so much fun! But it is really encouraging me to get back in shape. I am almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but definitely want to start working out and feeling better! There just isn't any time in the day!

Well that is the end of my random post... stay tuned for many more that will probably be similiar! ;) 

Time Flies

I wish I could stop time and stay in this moment forever. 

It is crazy how quickly you move on and forget what each stage is like, because I look at my Danika who is about to turn 7 and I wonder how we got here, when it was yesterday that she was 4 pounds in an incubator in the hospital. And how Adessa is almost 4 years old and makes me laugh every day with her crazy abundance of energy. And now my third precious child is almost 4 months old and has gone from sleeping ALL day to smiling, laughing and grabbing onto all sorts of things. She no longer wants to be held tight against my chest where I can deeply breathe in her sweet baby scent, for its as if she will miss what her big sisters are doing. So much has changed in these few short months and I wish I could freeze time so I don't miss anything. 

Amara has officially moved out of size 1 diapers and is now in size 2. She is standing in her jolly jumper and sitting in the bumbo and is focusing so hard on objects placed in front of her. She smiles if you talk to her, even mid cry, she will look up and give you the greatest smile. She has officially moved out of our room and is all alone in her new big room. The first morning Danika went in to talk to her and told me that as soon as Amara saw her she giggled, because she finally felt love in her empty room! 

As crazy hectic life is at the moment, I do truly love it. I love the busyness, I love how the girls love their little sister and each time they pass her they yell out a big "HI AMARA" in the tone only they each can produce. I love that every time they yell it, it is quickly followed by a "Oh, she smiled at me!" 

Amara is continuing on her awesome sleep schedule of going to sleep around 8 pm, waking once around 4 am to eat, fall back asleep and sleep in until 7 or 8 am. She has been such a blessing, and I can truly say I have enjoyed every moment with this sweet little girl who I am so in love with. I can't imagine our lives without her. Her tiny little toes and fingers, her sweet chubby cheeks and silky soft hair. Everyone who meets her still comments on her beautiful head of hair and how beautiful she is. I feel weird writing it out, because I don't want to feel like I am bragging, but she truly is a beautiful little girl with such a sweet demeanor. 

I took the girls for a walk the other day after school. With Amara on my ergo carrier, Adessa in the stroller, Meeko on the leash and Danika riding her bike. It probably looked a little crazy as a few people commented that I sure had my hands full. But I loved every moment. I love when I get to the beach that has become our new walking path, where I can just sit and take in the girls endlessly exploring. The girls fight a lot, but they also play very well together. I love watching their friendship grow and the way they imagine together. 

Danika is still very bossy, something we are working on, and Adessa continues to not be told what to do, which can make for some loud screaming matches. But they are becoming less and less. (Thank God!) 

Steve continues to be busy and we have only God to thank for that! He has several jobs on the go and has hired several men to work for him. I am so proud of him though, he is really loving the new role of being a contractor and no longer working on the tools. But he does find himself on the phone all day and driving in his truck. 

This time around with the third child, we both just seem to be so relaxed now. I mean I still have my insane moments where I can't handle the mess and chaos around me, but I truly have loosened the reins as I physically can't keep up with my home anymore. For the first time since we have been married, the laundry sits clean in the laundry basket without being folded for a long time, the floor collects dust bunnies and dog fur blows across my floor. The bathrooms go uncleaned and there are fingerprints on literally everything! Oh and who has time for dusting!?! It has been a process in my heart that I do continually struggle with everyday, because I like everything just so- but God is teaching me how very valuable my time is and how if I don't sit down and play or cuddle you blink and they grow up. 

Our birthday week is coming up and my Danika will be 7, I will be 26 and my hubby will be the big 3-0! 

The MASSIVE shop Steve is building. 4200 sq ft. It is beautiful! 

Happy Mother's Day!

 Mother's day is getting so special now that the girls are getting older. Danika has been counting down to mothers day for the past couple of weeks. The morning started off by the girls locking me in my room (so nice!) while they helped daddy make me breakfast. The table was beautifully set with a pile of presents next to it. Danika made me some beautiful flowers, and then at school she made me a beautiful card, a potted stargazer lily and then Adessa painted some rocks and seashells and wrapped them up for me to open. 

We then went to church and afterwards went for lunch and met an amazing family who has fostered 5 special needs children and then had gone on to adopt them all. It was very inspiring!

Then my wonderful husband dropped me off at winners where I met my good friend Caroline and we shopped for a couple hours while the men took the girls to the park. We came home to my crock pot roast and veggies, then took the kids up to the park where Danika really got comfortable on her bike without training wheels! It was a wonderful day, and to top it all off Amara gave her first giggles tonight!!! 

3 months old already!

Wow, time has flown by! My little baby is 3 months old- and it has been a whirlwind in a very special way. We have had company at our house for about half of Amara`s life already, so it has been busy! My parents were out for 2 weeks, and then the day they left my in-laws arrived for 10 days. The next week my sister came out with my niece Ella for a weekend, my childhood friend Candace came out for a night, last weekend my 2 sister in laws were here for 4 days. And on Tuesday night we said goodbye to my sister in law Amy and her daughter Emilie. I have also been trying to catch up on having families over for meals, as our friends did so much for us throughout the end of my pregnancy.
Through all this craziness you would barely know we had a baby! She is seriously so good, we feel so very blessed! She is so content and we have barely heard a cry out of her and when she does it is like a kitten meowing. I`m sure it won`t last long, but we sure are enjoying it! We have made so many memories and I haven`t had a chance to blog, but I will try and do a quick recap.

First bath at home... she LOVES her baths!

First time bowling for Adessa and Amara... and Danika lost her funny front tooth!

Dr. Seuss day at school. Danika won a prize in her class for best dressed as 'Cat in the Hat!'

Meeting my sisters best friends!

Baby shower for Amara... very special as my mom was still here. So many wonderful friends showering us with love!

We went out to Port Renfrew with Grandma and Grandpa, it was so fun! 

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit... lots of special memories with them!

Easter weekend- family photo shoot with my beautiful girls

Easter egg hunt in Crofton, photo shoot with the Easter bunny!

My good friend Candace came to visit for a night with her daughter Olivia, the girls are 2 months apart... so special!

Auntie Linsey and Ella came for a visit. Lots of fun times- swimming, tea parties, beach trips. 

2 months old... such a cutie!

We went to merridale cidery with Auntie Leah and Auntie Sarah and got to go on a fairy hunt!

Fun times at the Birds of Prey Center 

Beach exploring with Aunties

We already traded our little bird, for the big bird (18 foot double eagle for our 14 foot double eagle) So on the HOT weekend we took it out to find a new beach and the girls tubed the entire way there. Adessa LOVED every moment of it- was yelling to go faster and squealing with delight every time there was a wave. Danika wasn't quite as enthralled! 

Gorgeous day on the ocean... white sandy beaches and endless exploring!

Beautiful Auntie Amy and big cousin Emilie. Amy watched the girls while Steve and I went out to celebrate our anniversary. First time leaving Amara, and she did amazing! 

Emilie was SUCH a big helper- changing Amara's bum and holding her. 

Swimming in the ocean already! Such good times with big cousin!

Hubby took me on the boat across to Salt Spring Island to celebrate our 7th Anniversary. It was a GORGEOUS evening, and we sat out on the patio. I enjoyed some freshly caught halibut... it was DELICIOUS! Such a special night as it was the first time leaving Amara. Seven years being married to my best friend. I can truly say I love my husband more and more every year.
7 years, 4 houses, a few different jobs, 2 provinces, several vehicles, 3 boats, 3 children, 1 dog, 1 crazy lawsuit. It has been totally awesome, and I wouldn't change a thing!!! (okay maybe the 3 boats!)

So there is a recap in photos of our last three months!!! 

Amara | A Birth Story |

Once again my good friend Kim Kitchen of www.twiggyphotography.com has outdone herself! She brought this video over when my parents were still here and it brought tears to all of our eyes. Kim you are such a talented photographer... thank you for capturing these moments! 

Welcome Amara!

WOW!!! What a week!!! I want to try and write down everything I remember from the week, so for some it may be a bit graphic... but they are details I don't want to forget!

Let me start at the beginning...
Monday and Tuesday I was having some contractions, but Tuesday I was quite uncomfortable. I had been having them on and off for about a week, but when I saw midwives last they said that was a good thing, and not to worry. But Tuesday Steve was worried, I guess every time I talked to him on the phone he could read something in my voice, so he called the midwives and told them that he was concerned that Amara was ready to come, and that it would happen quickly.

My midwife, Selina called that evening and asked me if I wanted her to stop by on her way home from Nanaimo. I felt bad because it was 7:30 pm and I said not to worry, but then Steve made me say yes! And we are glad she came by! She checked me at around 8 pm and I was already 4 cm dilated. With lots of contractions. She said she was going to call the OB's and ask what they wanted to do, and for us to stand by and have bags packed. I quickly hopped into the shower and Steve came to tell me that we needed to be at the hospital ASAP. We called Alycia, a lady in our life group who has been so helpful during my long bed rest and she came right over without us even asking before if she would come.

We got to the hospital and were waiting to check into emergency, but the line was very long. Selina called Steve a couple of times before he answered and she asked where we were because the team was waiting for us. So we rushed upstairs and the rest was a serious whirlwind.

Everyone was waiting for us- I got put into the lovely hospital gown, and then people were poking me with needles, IVs, checked to see how far along I was (1 hr later I was 5 cm dilated), and they put on these crazy leg squeezers that went up both of my legs and squeezed in and out so I wouldn't get blood clots. I was then brought into the operating room. I got in there onto the little bed and was shaking like crazy. It was all happening so fast, I had no time to prepare myself, and I was so cold! The Anestegioligist, was awesome. His name was Dr. Robertson and he talked me throughout the whole process as he put in the spinal. I was layed on the bed, curtain drawn and what felt like hundreds of people entered the room. Dr. Robertson stayed at me head and talked me through everything they were doing, held up a mirror for me to look if I wanted to and also had our camera and was snapping pictures.

Through this whole process I was shaking so hard. What a scary experience. I remember them asking me to wiggle my toes, and not being able too... I was just thinking how terrifying it would be to be paralyzed and mentally wanting to move something and not be able to (just one of many thoughts at the moment.) I kept asking if I was for sure frozen and Dr. Robertson said that is every single persons worst fear, but then he asked if I could feel that and apparently they were running metal tongs across my belly, and I could just feel the pressure.

Steve was very quiet through the whole process and kept peeking up and over to see what was happening. Selina was encouraging me, and Dr. Zharadka, my OB was telling me what she was doing. The team was all really awesome. I looked up into the mirror in time to see them pull Amara out, bum first- what a surreal feeling, I could feel the tugging on my belly, but watching it felt like watching a movie. She was blue when she came out, and the cord was around her neck. I saw Zharadka flip it off and over. And then they put her on the table, it felt like forever before I heard her little cry, I was just praying away. She made one little squawk and I was bawling my eyes out!
I looked over to the warming table and her tiny little legs were bent straight up towards her head, as that was how she was in my womb, in the pike position. There was a Pediatrician checking her out to make sure her hips and legs were okay, and she said they looked fine, but they want us to take her to Victoria in a few weeks to have an ultrasound on her hips, as breech babies sometimes can have problems with their hips. Then they wrapped her up and brought her to me. It was love at first sight! I just remember thinking how tiny and petite she was. With the tiniest most kissable little lips! And an amazing amount of dark hair. She is perfect! She was born at 10:37 pm she weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.

They stitched me up while I was having my first cuddles with I believe 4 or 5 layers of stitches and then the final layer was staples. And then they rolled me into the recovery room. Amara started breastfeeding right away. We were then rolled into our room for the next few days, and were thankfully given our own room with our own bathroom. Steve spent the night on the pullout chair bed, and we both didn't sleep. For Steve it was because my leg compressors were so loud and I had to keep buzzing the nurses.

The nurses took Amara to the nursery for the night, but I was in extreme pain all night as the freezing wore off and I have had a terrible cough for over a month and it was in full vengeance! Every time I coughed it felt like my stitches were going to rip out, so I was trying not to cough all night, which made it worse, and then my uterine contractions were so intense that I literally felt like I was dying! All that to say, I did not sleep a wink that night!

The next day (Wednesday) I was laid up in bed all day with the leg squeezers on and Alycia brought the girls in to meet their sister. They came with presents for Amara, a beautiful blankie and a cute little teddy stuffie. They were both excited to see us, but Amara they weren't quite sure of. I asked them both if they wanted to kiss her, but they both were like... ummm whats that white stuff on her skin, and were both just a little unsure.
Kim, my wonderful photographer came and took some pictures of the girls first meeting their sister and some of me and Amara. I did not want my photo taken, as I had just bawled my eyes out from being exhausted and overwhelmed. But I am glad she came and we got some nice photos!We had a nice visit and then Steve left with them to go home and take a nap.

Wednesday night I had an older nurse who wanted to take off my leg compressors and catheter and get me up and out of bed. It was NOT a pleasant experience, she was very rough and basically ripped me up out of bed and I was standing there shaking and crying my eyes out. But I survived!

The next morning Steve took Adessa to go and pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the airport as they arrived bright and early! I was so excited to see them and introduce them to my sweet little girl. Sharon came and brought me some McDonalds as the hospital food is not so appetizing, I also had a soother on the table and my midwife came in... a little awkward! They only promote healthy eating and do not recommend soothers until they have breastfeeding down pat! But the visit was quick and I had a nice visit with Sharon!

It was so great to see mom and dad as I haven't seen them since Joel and Nikayla's wedding at the beginning of November and this pregnancy has been such a long haul with all the complications, it was just so nice to see my mommy! It is times like these that I really really miss living closer to family!

Friday morning I was expecting to check out, but then Amara had jaundice and her one leg looked much larger than the other one. So they took lots of blood out of my poor little baby and tested for infections and then she was put under the lights for the day. At this point I was SO ready to just go home! But that night I had crazy bleeding, which was very very scary and the nurses seemed really concerned as well and were booking me in the next day (Saturday) for an ultrasound. I prayed a lot that night, as I had the concern of possible placenta still in the uterus and more surgery, Amara being Jaundice... in the room with me for the night (and she kept knocking off her glasses), her swollen leg which they thought could have been a 1 in a million reaction to the Vitamin K they injected into her leg, and my milk had come in and I was severely engorged and couldn't sleep from the pain! I was given such a peace however and just knew it would be alright. But then in the morning I called Steve to tell him what was going on and I just started to bawl. It had just been one thing after another this whole pregnancy... and now this!!!

Steve came with my very very worried mother (apparently he prep talked her the whole way in that she needed to be supportive and smiley instead of crying!) and we waited to hear any sort of news.
Pediatrician came in and told us first that her blood work came back that morning and we could take her out of the lights (Amen), then they said she had no infection and it was probably because her little legs were hyper extended in the womb for so long and it was just swollen (Amen), and then they said that they couldn't figure out how to do the ultrasound because of my csection scar. At which point my surgeon, Dr. Zhardka came in sucking on a freezie (she got one for Adessa too!) and said that she is 100% positive that nothing was left in my uterus and she doubled and tripled checked because she had a student in with her and was showing him everything. I got my staples taken out... she was amazed at how well I was recovering as I was already sitting up by myself and stroked my after-pregnant ego by saying I had no fat on my bones and it was a dream to do a c-section on me... thank you Zharadka! :)

I was mentally preparing myself to spend more time in the hospital but in a matter of moments we were cleared to go home. AMEN. I was so ready to be home!!!

I got home last Saturday, February 16th, and I have been home almost a week. The only problem there is, is my painful engorgement and trying to work that out. But Amara is an absolute delight. She sleeps all the time, we have barely heard a peep out of her and she is nursing wonderfully. She went down to 6 lbs. 6 oz. in the hospital and she is already at 6 lbs. 12 oz. I have to wake her up at night to feed. She loves having her baths and that about the only time we can get her awake!
It has been so special having mom and dad here. Mom has been working like a dog and has got the nick name 'granny' as she is the grandma and the nanny! She has been cooking and cleaning up a storm and keeping the girls entertained. She also took me to get a haircut yesterday, but we then got scolded by the midwives as I am not supposed to leave the house yet! But it was worth it ;)

The girls have really taken to their sister- Adessa more so. She is such a big helper, running to grab diapers and clothes and constantly wanting to hold her. At one point Danika was holding Amara on the couch and Adessa ran and grabbed all the diaper stuff. It was perfect!

Last night there were parent-teacher interviews at school and so Steve and I went to talk to Mrs. Mitchell. She mentioned that Danika has been complaining a lot about aches and pains and talking about how concerned she was for Amara. Which took me by surprise because at home she has not shown much interest. So when we go home I sat down with her and we talked for awhile about her new baby sister and she started to cry saying she was scared for Amara because one leg was a bit bigger.. and she had heard us talking about things about Amara, but we hadn't really talked to her about any of it. It was really good to have that conversation and I am really going to make an effort to give the big sister a lot of attention!

Mom and dad took the girls out for a special day today as school has a Pro- D day so its a nice chance for me to get down all the details of Amara's birth and to just have a day to rest!

Welcome my sweet little Amara... it has been quite the journey to meet you, we couldn't imagine our lives without you sweet little angel!!! 

My three Beauties!!! 

 My friend Kim took a bunch of photos of maternity and when Amara was born... you can check them out here!

Aversion

Today was hard... really hard. I didn't do so well. 

The night before last, I didn't sleep because my body was in so much pain, cramping and back pain and I was scared, I kept praying that I could just fall asleep and that this wasn't labor and eventually I fell asleep, but spent the following day exhausted. I had all my lovely appointments again, the ultrasound, NST and midwife appointment and was wiped. My midwife recommended I take a long bath, have some gravol and try to have a good sleep before my 7 am appointment at the hospital this morning. I tried those things, the only problem was, was that I had children's gravol and only had enough left for a 6-12 year old dosing. So I took it... but it didn't do too much! I slept fitfully last night and was wide awake at 4 am this morning, but tried to rest until we left at 6:30 am. A wonderful friend came and stayed with the girls this morning to get Danika ready for school and hang out until we got back. 

We spent 2 hours at the hospital. They monitored Amara for a while before to make sure she was fine and then 2 OB's came- Dr. Bodea and Dr. Listin and my midwife, Selina. They used the ultrasound to monitor Amara as they tried to flip her. They tried 3 different times, probably 45 min- 1 hour of trying to flip her. My midwife was awesome and had me doing breathing exercises as the natural body response is to tense up, but she had me breathe through it all for a long time. They were all amazed at how long I let them try for, but much to my discomfort. I tried to get in a zone and tried my hardest to breathe through it all, but it was too much. They were able to get her little bum out of my pelvis with 3 sets of hands (one you don't want to know where it was!) and turn her diagonally, but they couldn't get her past that point. Steve said it looked awful, as their hands were lost trying to push her so hard. The most painful was at the bottom of my stomach because of all the tendons and muscles. But I did what the doctors and midwifes asked of me and gave it my all. So at least I tried to have her flipped. But Amara did not want to go anywhere. And the doctors said that if she going to flip, it would have happened. 

Right after everyone left and I was hooked back up to monitor how Amara was doing I looked out the window feeling so drained and exhausted and there was a beautiful rainbow literally right outside my window. I wish I would have had my camera. But I just felt God's peace and presence. It was such an awesome reminder for me at that moment and made me smile when I just felt like crying! ( I did do my fair share of crying)

Good times! 

Steve took me for breakfast at white spot after the appointment and I drowned my feelings in eating... it was delicious! We then stopped at some good friends of ours and there is nothing better than crying on a friends shoulder.. except maybe my moms shoulder! 

The rest of the day I have been physically in pain and exhausted. The doctors said my stomach would probably bruise and it is so tender, I can feel the bruised spots. I took a long bath and tried to nap, but my mind doesn't ever shut off for naps. So I am praying for a good sleep tonight!

On another note, Adessa had an awesome day. Alycia got Danika ready for school and then she took Adessa on a special date to Chemainus, where they played at the beach, went to the park, had a snack at the bakery and then ended by letting Adessa pick out a special treat for her and Danika at the candy store. Lucky little girl! 

Alycia took this photo of Adessa in Chemainus... I LOVE it!!! She looks like a little model! 

I am thankful today is over, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted and I am just so ready to meet this little girl. The next step is to monitor by ultrasound every few days and then next Friday I will have an appointment with the specialist to book an C-section. 

Here are a few more iphone pics I have taken recently!

The midwives recommended I try acupuncture to switch baby around... this is called "moxa-bustion" - basically you burn 2 moxa sticks on the outside of your pinkie toe for 20 minutes... 10 days in a row. Steve was "thrilled."

This is a NST- a Non Stress Test. They hook me up to a monitor to track baby's heart rate and movements for at least 20 minutes. I have been having these on a weekly basis. 

We thought that Amara might have come today, so yesterday my good friend Kim Kitchen of Twiggy Photography came over briefly to snap a few photos of me and the girls... here were a few she texted to me! She normally only takes photos outdoors and it was a gray, dark day yesterday so she said the lighting wasn't great... but I like them!  I am just happy to have a few with the belly!