Learning Lessons

This past week has been a pretty hard one, yet one full of lessons for me. The severity of Steve's sickness came as a big shock to both of us, but we were happy to find out that an ulcer can be treated with drugs and does not require any surgery. We have both been taking things one day at a time and have really been trusting in God through it all as I have posted previously of the lessons he has taught me the last couple of days. However as I was getting ready this morning and cleaning the house for Steve's homecoming, he called me. He told me that the doctors ordered more blood tests and that they found his blood count dropped to 74 and were really pushing for the transfusion to take place. They also said it would be at least one more night in the hospital... : (

After getting off the phone with him, I broke down, hard. I have been taking it day by day, night by night, however between picking and dropping the girls off with friends, driving to and from the hospital, fighting over meal times, and dealing with this puppy and his uncontrolled bowels. I felt like I was done. However there was a lesson for me in this as well, one that is embarrassing to share, but a realization I came to as I was curled up in the fetal position on my bed, crying like a baby. That I was being selfish and was limiting my God. You see, I am so utterly blessed by my amazing husband, who even as I write this my eyes fill with tears at the thought of him in the hospital in pain. He has already been through hell and back in the hospital through his accident, and then has to go through this. And still he is my rock, the one encouraging me and telling me he feels badly that I am alone with the kids and dog. And then I realized that this isn't at all about me, that my husband is as selfless as can be and that I needed to pull it together and really live out the words that God has been teaching me. You see, God and the words he speaks are fine and dandy when your feeling up to it and your within your limit, but your real faith is brought to life when things don't go quite as planned, and you limit God on how far you can push yourself. This morning I was at my breaking point, and though I did complain to my parents and some friends of my exhaustion, I truly need to learn to let go of my selfishness and to focus on others and their needs, knowing that God will give me the strength to persevere.

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV)

Psalm 28:7 "The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,And with my song I will praise Him."

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (KJV)

James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (NASB)